I mean, come on. Barry Manilow. Barry White. Barry Goldwater. Barry Williams. Whatever. But President Barry! I can’t have it.

I mean, come on. It’s far too silly.

Come to think of it, I’d vote for Barry Manilow. Lola Day. Would he implement mandatory disco balls in the white house? Bet he would…

There are so many reasons to be angry with Cloris, I’m not even sure where to begin.

1. i’m mad at everyone born in Des Moines. (Did you know that moine was the french word for monk? None of them wear robes… none of them!)

2. Phyllis. Nuff said. Phyllis should have stayed on Mary Tyler Moore. There is no Mary without Phyllis and there is no Phyllis without Mary.

3. Cloris clearly does not look like Edna. She should never have played the sister on The Facts of Life. Never.

 One of these things is NOT like the other.

4. Cloris chose not to kill Joan Collins when Joannie had an affair with her husband. Not killing Joan meant, for us earthlings, Dynasty. Had she died nasty in the clutches of Miss Cloris, we would not have had to put up with Dynasty. Suffice it to say, Cloris Leachman is the reason and the cause of Dynasty.

5. There is no 5 because I don’t care to further discuss or explore. Without a 5, there really isn’t a reason for a 6.